Hello everyone, It's me, Hermana Samantha Smith. I decided I should top off this mission blog with a post-mission entry. It's been an amazing 18 months. I can't believe it's already over. It's a strange thing being an RM. Part of me feels like I never stepped foot in Vegas - like I just woke up from the best dream I've ever had. Fortunately, it was not a dream - it was reality.
I was reading a post someone put on Facebook the other day and she mentioned her decision to put her life on hold for 18 months to serve the Lord. It was a lovely status in its entirety, but I have to disagree with that one statement. When someone makes the choice to serve a mission full time, they're not putting their life on hold. There is no pause button for your life. Every step you take or decision you make is a part of YOUR life. In the mission field I learned so many things I don't think I ever would have had I not served a mission. I met several different people on a daily basis who were all fighting their own unique battles. Some were better at hiding them than others. I wasn't always able to relate to them, but I knew the Lord could. It is a remarkable privilege to be able to stand in His place and testify of His power. On my mission I learned what it truly means to love another person and just how many different types of love there are. It's a very complex emotion! Before my mission I never knew it was possible to love so many people at one time. There were times where I could not settle down at night because of how full I felt inside. Often times I had to work in order to develop that love. It doesn't always come naturally because unfortunately, the natural man in us tends to initially turn inward. Faith without works (and a desire) is dead. These are only a few of the many things I learned on my mission that have changes MY life.
No missionary should go into the field thinking they're putting their life on hold to serve others. No missionary should ever think their testimony is already as strong as it's going to get - that they've already learned all they need to know. A mission is a very real and humbling experience. Yes, we are there to think less of ourselves and more of others. We are supposed to forget ourselves and go to work. However, in doing so, the missionary also changes. There is always more to learn and space to grow. I believe our Heavenly Father expects us to go home a changed person - more Christlike. The blessings of missionary work do not solely effect those being served, but it changes the individual serving as well. In fact, we can only experience these changes when we practice putting ourselves in the Lord's shoes, which is the whole point of our mortal existence.
To every missionary, the day will come when you must return to the part of your life outside the mission field. What you will see is that your life was never put on hold. The pause button never worked. The people and circumstances you left behind did not stop moving in wait for your glorious return. Things will be different. You will have to adapt and realize that you are not the same person and that the past year and a half to two years of your life was in fact the most real and important time of YOUR life. More important than whatever else you could have been doing in that time frame.
I feel like the same person I was before I left, but that light of Christ inside me has grown. I have more peace. I feel more joy, regardless of my faults or the imperfections that surround me. I'm stronger spiritually. Much stronger.
I loved being able to see those changes in my fellow missionaries as well. The last week in my mission, I went to a Missionary Leadership Counsel... it's a meeting for all the Zone Leaders, Sister Training Leaders and sometimes District Leaders. There were some elders and sisters there that throughout my mission I had had the privilege of serving beside. They seemed so much happier, though. There was a glow about them and I was so grateful to be able to see those changes in them before ending this very important chapter in my life. I remember one elder in particular spoke to me very briefly after the meeting about how much he had changed. apparently his mother even took notice of it from his emails. That to me is just amazing.
I love this gospel and I love my Savior. I know that if we do all we can, He will provide the rest. It is through him that we can accomplish these changes in our lives - in our natures. Not only can we receive forgiveness and become better, but we can be assured that Christ understands the difficulty of our trials. He has felt them and he can comfort us. He hasn't just suffered our sins, but also our pains, sicknesses, heartbreaks and shortcomings that we can't always control as mortals. He has been very merciful to me in my life. I'm so grateful to Him for that. Through all He's done for me I understand more fully the love my Heavenly Father has for me as well. They're on the same team and both just want us to follow them - to trust them..because they want us to come back. Moses chapter 7 blows my mind and on my mission really helped me see the true nature of God and Jesus Christ. They root for us everyday and hope that we will choose them.
I want to thank anyone who might be reading this for your support and in being instruments in the Lord's hands in lifting me up when I needed a boost and helping me be able to serve a mission. Your examples mean the world to me.
Con mucho amor,
Hermana Samantha Smith
